I'm still looking for the silver lining of this weeks' fails. Yes, there were many. My son ended up hospitalized for asthma and his twin sister is down with double ear infections and pink eye - all while my husband was out of town. After a week of scraping together inadequate sub plans, I'm worried to go back to school on Monday.
My family comes first. Especially since I never thought I would have one.
Teacher fail or not, I'll do whatever it takes to keep my kids and husband happy and healthy. That being said, somewhere in the back of my mind, as I'm sitting in the hospital listening to my son's sweet snores, I reflect on the fact that my 80 students have had no real learning for three days. Yes, I know I should be focused on my family, but how many of you can say that you can completely block school out of your brain? I'm worried for the mess I will walk into next week. I'm worried that lessons I had previously taught will be forgotten. I'm worried our flow is gone. I'm worried that the crucial first two weeks of genius hour will have crumbled. So yes, sometimes being a mommy, wife, son, daughter, friend causes teacher fails.
We are lucky that kids are resilient, and I know that we will bounce back. However the amount of guilt that is surrounding me at this moment is somewhat overwhelming. Guilty that I even thought of school, guilty that the kids missed learning, guilty that I bailed out on events of my school friends. That's just going to have to be the way it is. As they say, no one lays on their death bed saying they would have wanted to be at school more and with their family less.
Just needed to get this off my chest in order to move forward and get out from under this gloomy cloud.
We are lucky that kids are resilient, and I know that we will bounce back. However the amount of guilt that is surrounding me at this moment is somewhat overwhelming. Guilty that I even thought of school, guilty that the kids missed learning, guilty that I bailed out on events of my school friends. That's just going to have to be the way it is. As they say, no one lays on their death bed saying they would have wanted to be at school more and with their family less.
Just needed to get this off my chest in order to move forward and get out from under this gloomy cloud.